


He and I

by WizardSandwich



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Insecurity, M/M, POV Second Person, idw-ish elements, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25031269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizardSandwich/pseuds/WizardSandwich
Summary: You think he will leave you, eventually.
Relationships: Jazz/Prowl
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	1. Prowl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm finally crossposting this from tumblr after 500 years so! here we go!

You think he will leave you, eventually, if only because that is the pattern that your life seems to follow. You will be left because of your deficiencies and your shortcomings and you do not pretend otherwise. Bots leave you and that is a fact of life. It is as constant as the pulsing of your spark.

You do not pretend anything despite that. You do not fake smiles or a gentle touch, you do not pretend to understand things that you don’t. It would be cruel of you to trick him into thinking you are a better mech than you are.

Truly, you do not know what he sees in you, when he laughs at a joke that comes out too flat. His visor glints in the light and his lips quirk into that smile that makes him seem larger than life and you cannot name why he must stay. It is not your kindness or your generosity. You are not some soft-sparked thing hiding under a veneer of coldness. You are cold. You would sooner send a mech to die that to lose this war. You would rather see your spark fade than to see Optimus Prime fail and fall.

So, yes, he will leave you eventually, if only because he will realize there are better things out there. He will let you go and you will let him. You will not be hurt nor will you mourn. You will be ready for it, when he sees that you are not what he has deluded himself into wanting. You cannot pretend yourself a good mech, the kind worth staying for.

Mechs like you do not get to keep mechs like Jazz. They are too good for you. Even when Jazz is a killer, he is still leagues better than you would ever be. You can only hope that he will not hate you in the end, but even then, you know, that must be too much to wish for.

Funny, how you love good mechs, Even funnier, how you keep doing it when you know it always hurts.


	2. Jazz

You think he hates you sometimes. When it is quiet and you are alone, he drifts. He frowns like you are not there and his optics get hazy. It is part of the reason why you hate him and silence together.

You were quieter before you knew he might love you, you think. Your job requires the delicate silence of a killer and the listening skills of a shrink. But, in this, you cannot stand it. Silence means he’ll think and he’ll look so sparkbroken. He’ll frown at his energon and won’t say a word. You hate it.

So you do everything in your power to keep him in the moment. You hold his servo in yours and croon love songs that you’ve picked up from every sector of space. You’ll run your servos over his cables and press the knots out. You’ll do anything to keep him _looking._

Is he planning on leaving you? You wonder and wonder. You would not trap him, not in this. Love is for those who want it and who are willing to give it. You do not think that is the case though, because he smiles so softly at you as if you are a treasure he cannot bear to part with.

You’re Spec Ops, of course, but you’ve never been able to read Prowl. He’s a statue of ice that only melts as much as the temperature warms. He hides himself behind duty and it is his greatest shield. You do not know why he hides from you though, when you love him so.

Surely, he knows what you’ve done for him? What you’re willing to do. You are a killer, yes, but you are more of a weapon to his practiced servo. You do not perform for just anyone. He and Optimus Prime are the only ones who get your love and leniency, though of different types.

But he looks at you so sadly and even the love you give does not get through to him. You do not think you could ever force him to stay. That is not the problem. But sadness permeates him, like he expects to disappoint and be disappointed.

You wonder how, when he is your match—blow for blow and wit for wit. More often, you wonder if he knows the difference between love and mourning.


End file.
